Thursday, May 20, 2021

Cheers and Jeers on Aging

 Here's the thing. When you're in your 20s and 30 and 40s, most likely you are doing basically the same thing every day. 

>You get up

 >You get ready for work 

>You go to work 

>You work 

>You come home from work 

>You get a few things done around the house while you make dinner 

>You eat dinner 

>You clean up 

>You get ready for the next day 

>You go to bed
Lather, rinse, repeat

And during this time you think, "Oh man it's the same old thing over and over again." And you do a few things to liven it up a bit.... 

>change jobs

 >have a kid or two 

>go on a nice vacation.

And you think that this is your life and all the days ahead will be like the days behind and you just live your life.

Then people you care about get sick Then they die and you think, "Okay, this shakes things up a bit." but still your life continues. You still: 

>Get up 

>Go to work 

>do something with your spouse and/or kids 

>make dinner
>get ready for the next day

>go to bed

lather rinse, repeat 

Then more people you love die and what once was your childhood home is sold so when you come to visit, there's no place to stay but a hotel. People move. Home isn't home anymore... a home is just a place you grew up in....just a memory.

Other things start to change. You might get sick or your spouse might get sick and you're doing what you can to keep afloat. And you're still working and doing all the things you need to do but you're doing them slower.

Your kids or your friend's kids are having babies.

Your bones start to ache and your eyesight and hearing start to fail.

And all those things that you thought were just life...all the mundane tasks of existing are gone. You don't go to work, you don't make your family dinner, you don't have to get ready for the next workday. Well, great....you think you can just do as you wish but, well money is tight or your spouse is dead.

And you think about the past and how you thought it was just building up to something and if that something didn't happen....well, you could just say, "maybe it will tomorrow" But now, your tomorrows are so limited.

You want to tell young folks that the things you are doing now will not last forever. Those Christmases as a family, even an extended family, where you all meet at one house and dress in matching Christmas pajamas....they may have happened for years but they will not be the same from year to year as you get older. More people will be added, at first but then eventually more will be taken out of that family photo you post on Facebook.

All your life you hear people say, "Life is short" and when you're twenty-five you don't believe it.  You have your whole life ahead of you.  You come up with ideas that you'd love to experiment with....

>you'd love to live in a renovated factory/warehouse building with one of those old-fashioned elevators with the accordion gates that takes you directly up to your flat. There,  you have walls...many walls made out of cubed opaque glass squares and you have a platform king-sized bed, and many many views out of your 2nd story window. Your kitchen has a ton of storage spaces so the clutter on the expensive quartz counters is pretty much non-existent saved for a Kerige and a toaster.  Your office has real walls of shelving....lots of shelving and your desk is clutter-free. It's one of those desks you can adjust in case you'd rather stand.  This is where you do your writing but if in the mood to do something artsier, you have a crafting area with its own deck and chair... you do not have to drag the writing chair to the crafting area.  This room is entirely yours unless you want to set up a little table for your granddaughter in 20 years. There's a chair in there too that faces the television in case your spouse wants to be in the same room with you as you work. 

>You'd love to have a little cabin in the woods with all the conveniences of being home. THe cabin sits next to a stream or a lake and you can see the sun set from your writing desk. Someday.

>You have visions of someday being somewhat famous. Not worldly but at least locally.  Maybe you'd get a job writing for an ad agency and win a CLIO or work for a radio station writing copy. But it's possible...you have time...barring any unforeseen circumstances you have time.

And then, you don't because life gets in the way.  You'll do those things when the kids are older or you want to get an entry-level job in an ad agency but you can't afford to take the pay cut. But maybe someday, you can. But, it turns out, you can't. 

Or your life takes a turn and you get sick.  So sick you can't work and it goes on for a few months...there's a rainbow at the end of your illness, after the chemo, after the surgery, after the radiation but your employer needs you back yesterday so they fire you for not getting better fast enough. And the chemo and the radiation does a number on your health. You were having back issues before cancer...back issues that when you were working would send you finding a piece of office floor where you can just lay down, flat on your back during your lunch break. But after cancer, it's too hard to find a job that will give you that luxury so you apply for disability benefits. It takes a couple of years but you finally get them (after trying 3 times and finally having to see a judge). But that money is not like it was when you were working so all your dreams are on hold. Pretty much forever. 

And then you are  60. A tough age except for those who are 70. You can't imagine how it will be to know you're really a time bomb just waiting to die. You hope it's peaceful and that you welcome it. You want to be in enough pain that death is considered an upgrade.  

All those dreams, all those plans...never to be realized. Life is short.  You want to blast it from the rooftop, tell your 29-year-old niece and your 26-year-old nephew, and your 18-year-old niece.  If you have plans or dreams...get the game plan going sooner. Work towards it. Do it now.